From an early age, we are taught that having a partner between the sheets is the only way of expressing sexuality. But being single does not mean giving up your sexual curiosity, creativity, and playfulness. Maintaining your sexy side is valuable to your fulfillment as a well-rounded person. After all, the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself.
Here are a few ways you can explore the pleasures of being single and sexual.
Flip the Script
In general, cultural attitudes toward single people undermine our own natural sexuality. No matter your relationship status, understanding of your thoughts and feelings can help clear the way for expressing your sexuality. Here are some common misinformed beliefs about sex:
Foreplay is for women, intercourse is for men.
Penis-in-vagina is sex.
Initiating sex is a masculine privilege.
Orgasms are the goal during sex.
Menopause decreases sexual desire.
Once you know the sexual ropes, you are set for life.
A sexual problem means something wrong with me.
When you take time and explore your past and review misconceptions you may have picked up along the way, you will find yourself freer to explore and enjoy. When it is a solo journey, you can ditch the baggage and travel without hindrance.
Know Thy Pleasures
The biggest critic we have is usually ourselves. Accepting yourself sexually is liberating and essential to living a vibrant and healthy sex life, and you don’t really need a partner to do it. Being your own partner can give you the opportunity for truly understanding how your body reacts to certain stimulation and pleasure.
Take yourself out on a date. Eat a nice meal, drink a glass of wine, or run a bubble bath. Even without taking it further, you are centering yourself inside the body and rewarding yourself physically. This can serve as a reminder that you are more than a being that works and does laundry.
Discover your Inner Love Artist
You can express your sexy side through a variety of creative channels. Whether it’s art, music, or masturbation, you have an artistic side that has something to say. Put on some Motown and dance naked around the house. Break out a hand mirror and sketch a below-the-belt self-portrait. Or even challenge yourself to write the weirdest, sexiest story your dirty mind can muster. Do it in the name of art, love, and having a good time—just like Picasso.
Sexy, Table for One
When you are inspired, take your physical enjoyments to the next level. Solo pleasuring and masturbation are great ways of sparking sexual awareness. Although you may have certain “style” while self-pleasuring, you can always expand the horizons by trying something new.
Spark new sensations and introduce yourself to a new sex toy or look at varying types of porn. For instance, if you have always used a standard straight vibrator, switch it up with something with a totally different touch like a clit stimulator. If using your hand has become dull, try a masturbation sleeve.
Take your exploration even further and try a toy mount. It holds your toy in place so you can get your entire body moving with pleasure. We have heard from a few people that toy mounts helped them keep in shape, so to speak, when not in a relationship. Plus, they are a great way to figuring out the perfect position and angle without having to keep your lover moving 1-inch to the right, no back, not that far back, etc.
Go On with Your Sexy Self
Understanding yourself on an intimate level can greatly enhance future sexual relationships. Staying primed will help you enjoy your time in between relationships more, and it will make your lovemaking feel more satisfying when you are in one. Not to mention, it’s a whole lot of fun!